If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
