I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
