The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
