thus making me awesome and them whores
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
