you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
