I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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