I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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