What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
