marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
