I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
