You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
