My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize