return my video game
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
