Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
