Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
