when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
