yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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