Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
love makes seman taste better
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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