I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
