anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
