he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The uberlube is also flammable
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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