If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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