I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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