What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
