i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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