i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
