What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
