Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I need mimosas to revive my soul
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
