It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize