stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
