This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We talked him into tasing himself.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize