Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
