Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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