Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I am available for nakedness
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