I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
