I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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