I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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