I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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