She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
