keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
