My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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