What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
