ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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