Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
