Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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