I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize