just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
