This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
