At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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