It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
