Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
