What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
