there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
