after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
