We won't sleep together?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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