So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
