My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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