Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
