In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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