How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize