i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
