everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
