Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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