let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize